The setting out.

"This is the setting out.

The leaving of everything behind.

Leaving the social milieu.
The preconceptions.
The definitions.
The language.
The narrowed field of vision.
The expectations.

No longer expecting relationships, memories, words, or letters to mean what they used to mean.

To be, in a word: Open."

-Rabbi Lawrence Kushner


I feel like I'm at a loss, because the wisdom above is really all I currently want out of life.. to be open and to be able to leave behind all expectations and narrow views. But, I don't think I know how to go about doing so.

Apathy is the most terrible and scary state of mind that I can imagine. It suffocates creativity and passion and rips people apart. It runs wild among humanity.. and it's slowly killing me. It's killing me because i'm letting it. I'm letting apathy take over my mind and my heart, and letting it control my emotional state. The Greek word for apathy can also be translated to "absence of passion" ... which is so incredibly descriptive of how I've felt for the past year of my life.

Is it possible to overcome this crippling emotion, or lack of emotion? Absolutely yes. Do I have any idea how to do so? Not so much. I think it may start with a re-evaluation of goals, desires and hopes for my life. Maybe the ability to bring myself back down to reality and realize that I won't change the entire human condition - but I can absolutely change a life or two. Maybe a little bit of negativity can be canceled out with just a little bit of positivity, and maybe my days can get a little brighter when I find a way to help another person's day get a little brighter.

Maybe expectations need to just become simpler. Maybe if I just try to be open - to everything - things will come together. Openness and vulnerability will bring change, and if not change, they will bring love and understanding.

Let's just hope and strive for more. More understanding, more love, more change. And with those things will come the decrease of apathy, boredom and laziness.