Love, it will not betray you.

“To love at all is to be vulnerable. Love anything, and your heart will certainly be wrung and possibly broken. If you want to make sure of keeping it intact, you must give your heart to no one, not even to an animal. Wrap it carefully round with hobbies and little luxuries; avoid all entanglements; lock it up safe in the casket or coffin of your selfishness. But in that casket- safe, dark, motionless, airless--it will change. It will not be broken; it will become unbreakable, impenetrable, irredeemable.” - C.S. Lewis

A dear friend recently asked me about trust, and why we would even try to trust anyone because of how inherently terrible people are. Because to attempt to trust and be broken in the process is better than living inside a dark cave, afraid to ever touch anyone or anything deeper than just the surface.

Since being in Chicago I've learned how incredibly true the lovely Lewis' words are. It is so easy to lock ourselves inside a casket, safe and motionless, and hide from the world. It was so easy for me to wander around this huge city for months, not opening myself up, trying to stay away from everyone. Because I already have people whom I love deeply and trust and I really didn't need anyone else. Because I was afraid of meeting the wrong crowd. Because I just didn't want to bother with starting a new life here and having to go through the process of opening myself up completely to a whole new world of people.

I quickly found that it is impossible to fully live that way. It is so hard to live alone, especially in a city where you are never really alone. It's harder to hide from people than it is to open up to them, really, because it's painful and awkward. We were created for community and we can only truly thrive as individuals when we are involved in a community of like-minded people. Once I finally came to terms with that, I was able to begin to open myself up and make friends. And good ones, too, ones that have already been so encouraging and helpful in this evolution I've been going through for the past few months of living here.

People are never going to do the right things. We'll never be completely trustworthy, completely kind or goodhearted. We'll always screw up.. but that's where grace comes in. And grace flows out of a genuine love for one another. Love will always bring pain, to an extent, because we are broken people. But, love will always bring grace and fullness. Life is messy, people are messy, and no one will ever be perfect... but isn't it better to live this messy life with one another and do our best to trust and accept each other for the messy people we all are?

"Love, it will not betray you,
dismay or enslave you,
It will set you free
Be more like the man you were made to be"
-Mumford & Sons