Human suffering is one of the most unexplainable, avoided and uncomfortable topics that anyone can address - whether it be in a classroom environment, church, or conversation. The question, "why do bad things happen to good people?" has been asked since the beginning of time, and I, like most people, have never actually heard a definitive answer.
Last night at church, during the Q&A time after the message (which addressed suffering from the point of view of James) a question popped up on the screen that created the most dramatic and emotional moment I've ever experienced in this type of setting.
"Why does God hate me? I try and try, and still, my life turns to shit. I'm losing my faith and don't know what to do anymore"
After the first sentence, the speaker stopped, obviously completely overwhelmed with emotion. He struggled to finish the rest of the question and then paused again. How would he answer? I have absolutely no idea what I would say to something like that.
Finally he began to apologize. On behalf of Christians, the church as a universal entity, and as a broken individual. He admitted to hurting people and leading people astray, he apologized for centuries of horrible things Christians have done, and he made very clear to this person that they are not hated by God, but loved fiercely and unconditionally. All he knew to do to even begin to express hope to this person was to apologize for what his people have done to other people, and what he has neglected to do as a pastor and teacher of the Gospel.
I thought it was beautiful. The connection and the emotion in the room, between two or three hundred people, was uncanny. It was like suddenly every single person was on the same level, in the same place, feeling the same thing. Everyone was together, feeling for this person who had sent in the text message, and I think everyone left feeling hopeful and a little more pensive than they had come in.
Suffering is about connection. It's one of the very few things in life that every single human being has dealt with. Regardless of age, gender, sexual preference, race, ethnicity, education, economic standing.. everyone who has ever taken a breath and lived a life has suffered. Everyone has woken up with that gut-wrenching feeling, everyone has lost someone or something, everyone has felt defeated and rejected. Community and connection is such an important part of life and it's crazy that something so horrible and so avoided in our world can bring some of the deepest connections to people. And, hopefully, in those connections individuals can find hope. They will be reminded that they are not, and never have been or will be, alone. We are bound together through suffering, and, if we're lucky enough, that suffering will lead us to faith in a bigger picture, a bigger God, and a bigger sense of unity with others.
I think this knowledge is one of the most important things that lead me to social work as a profession. Being able to bring individuals back into the light after they've experienced a trauma, or the ability to help them grab onto hope for the first time in their life is just one of the most beautiful things I can imagine. I can't believe I have the privilege to be able to do this.
So, if you're broken, take heart! You're not alone. You never have been or will be. You are beautiful and you are worth something. There is hope.
