summer days

"they say that things just cannot grow beneath the winter snow, or so i have been told.
they say we're buried far, just like a distant star i simply cannot hold.
is love alive? is love alive? is love alive?

i still believe in summer days
the seasons always change, and life will find a way"

i love this song. i've listened to it at least once a day for i don't know how long. obsessive much? maybe, but it's GOOD.

i love it now because it's winter now. and i love it because it feels like what i've been experiencing for the past month or so. winter has taken on a whole new life since i've moved somewhere that actually experiences seasons, and i'm now beginning to appreciate what it means to look forward to spring and summer. i'm starting to long for warmer days in a way i've never had to before, because florida has exactly 2 weeks worth of winter.

i think i have to figure out what love means - and not in a romantic way. i have to figure out if love is alive within me, and if it's not, how i can make it grow. i'm on a journey of starting to love myself again, and it's been a beautiful and difficult thing.

these past 6 months in Chicago have not been the easiest. they've been emotional and sad at times, but also happy and exciting and fulfilling! even though i often forget about the more positive side of life.

i feel like i'm at the top of the hill. right now, the past 6 months have been uphill. scary and tiring. now that i'm here, approaching the "top" i want to remember what it means to love myself and to love those who are around me. i hope that the next 6 months - the next however long! - will be even more fulfilling and happier. i am looking forward to the spring within my own soul, the renewing of my passion and energy and the hope of a brighter tomorrow. i'm looking forward to learning more, growing more and developing more.

here's to summer days, both outside and in myself. they're on the way!