these are my people.

well, i finished my first semester of grad school.

i spent an obscene amount of money, experienced major emotional distress every other day, made a few new friends, learned a lot about myself and grew up just a little.

i'd say it was pretty successful. academically, probably the easiest semester i've ever had (and yes, i graduated from southeastern, this is really saying something) but emotionally, by far the hardest. i knew it was going to be difficult coming here but i wasn't really prepared for the way in which it would be difficult. it was surprising. the verdict is still out.. maybe call me back in a few more months.

right now all i can focus on is the fact that i'm going home in 36 hours.

absolutely, positively, cannot wait.

i'm driving 400 miles, the day i get back, just to spend 24 hours with my best friends from college. it's probably the most ridiculous financial decision i've made in awhile, but, whatever. it's going to be so worth it! my heart needs them again. maybe the one day i get to spend with them will get me through the rest of the winter!

i need relationships.

that's what i've learned this semester.

i need people i trust and can be myself with. and, i know that i can find that in new people, and i've learned that i can't be so dependent on those who have been in my life forever. but, there's just something about that comfort. about those people who know you so well that you don't even have to say anything. there's just something that screams "life" in those relationships. like, the whole point of existing is in those moments between you and that person you're connected to.

i came here to find myself without those relationships. to figure out who i am outside of my friends. but, i think what i realized is that i don't really want to be myself outside of them. they make my life complete, and joyous, and so very worth living. i want to be me with them. i want to live life with them.

now, i guess the goal for next semester will be to figure out how to make that work while living thousands of miles apart. how to make the independent me and the dependent me cohabit peacefully.

thanks to everyone who made this semester work. everyone who supports me and loves me. i love you all unceasingly : )